Category: Divorce Mediation and Counseling

Strategic legal guidance for a peaceful transition.

Why Mediation Often Fails with a Controlling Partner

Why Mediation Often Fails with a Controlling Partner

The air in a high-stakes litigation suite often carries the sharp scent of ozone and mint. It is the smell of impending conflict and the cold precision of legal strategy. I have spent twenty-five years watching people try to play nice with opponents who have no intention of following the rules. I watched a client…
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How to Prepare for Your First Meeting with a Mediator

How to Prepare for Your First Meeting with a Mediator

The mechanics of a failed settlement The mechanics of a failed settlement starts with a lack of objective valuation. Most parties walk into the room with a number based on spite rather than the cold calculus of the equitable distribution statute. If you do not know the depreciation schedule of the marital residence, you lose.…
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Why Mediation Is Often Better for Quietly Resolving Private Issues

Why Mediation Is Often Better for Quietly Resolving Private Issues

The public exposure of a standard divorce trial A divorce lawyer typically advises that mediation provides a private, non-adversarial environment where spouses can get a divorce without public record disclosure. Unlike a divorce attorney fighting in open court, a mediator facilitates a settlement agreement that keeps financial and personal details away from the public eye…
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The Dangers of Settling Your Case During a Late-Night Phone Call

The Dangers of Settling Your Case During a Late-Night Phone Call

I watched a client lose their entire claim in the first ten minutes of a deposition because they ignored one simple rule about silence. They felt the need to fill the air. They thought that by explaining their motives, they could win over the opposing counsel. That same compulsion to speak drives the most dangerous…
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How to Deal With a Spouse Who Keeps Canceling Mediation

How to Deal With a Spouse Who Keeps Canceling Mediation

I recently spent 14 hours deconstructing a contract that was designed to be unreadable, only to find the one clause that changed everything. That experience taught me that in the legal world, silence and complexity are often used as shields for those who refuse to act. When you are trying to get a divorce, you…
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How to Handle a Mediator Who Seems Biased Against You

How to Handle a Mediator Who Seems Biased Against You

I watched a client lose their entire claim in the first ten minutes of a session because they ignored one simple rule about silence. We were sitting in a cramped office that smelled like strong black coffee and old paper. The mediator, a retired judge with a reputation for efficiency, kept checking his watch. He…
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Why Collaborative Divorce Is Gaining Popularity Over Litigation

Why Collaborative Divorce Is Gaining Popularity Over Litigation

Why Collaborative Divorce Is Gaining Popularity Over Litigation The coffee is cold and the reality is colder. You think you want a fight. You think the courtroom is where justice lives. It does not. Justice is a ledger where the only people winning are the ones billing by the hour. I have seen the wreckage…
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How to Deal with a Narcissist in Divorce Mediation

How to Deal with a Narcissist in Divorce Mediation

I watched a client lose their entire claim in the first ten minutes of a deposition because they ignored one simple rule about silence. We were sitting in a cramped conference room that smelled of ozone and mint. The opposing party, a textbook narcissist with a penchant for gaslighting, threw out a blatant lie about…
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The Danger of Using the Same Mediator for Legal and Emotional Needs

The Danger of Using the Same Mediator for Legal and Emotional Needs

The air in my office usually carries the heavy scent of double-shot black coffee and the static electricity of impending conflict. I have spent twenty-five years watching people set fire to their lives because they confuse a courtroom for a confessional. You are here because you want to get a divorce. You are looking for…
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7 Reasons Your Mediation Will Fail Before It Starts

7 Reasons Your Mediation Will Fail Before It Starts

7 Reasons Your Mediation Will Fail Before It Starts The air in the conference room is stagnant, smelling of burnt black coffee and the metallic tang of high-stakes anxiety. You are here to get a divorce, but you are actually walking into a tactical minefield where most participants trigger the explosives before the first demand…
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